Ladies Ski Pants

Is there a difference between ladies ski jackets and ladies snowboard jackets? I'm trying to find out which I should buy for downhill skiing as I am a beginner skier. Ladies ski jacket or snowboard jacket? There seems to be more snowboard than ski styles. But the snowboard jackets look baggier. will this affect skiing?

Black ladies ski jacket? I'm looking for a black ladies ski jacket. Im looking for good value and quality for around 100 pound or euro. It also has to be delivered to Ireland within 2 weeks. Any suggestions where I could find it online? A black colored jacket. Thanks but I've already looked in TK Maxx and can't find a black one. Any other ideas?

Need to find 5xl Ladies Ski Jacket? I need to find a 5 xl Ski Jacket or anything similar for cold weather. Snowproof, Windproof, Waterproof, a Down filled Jacket etc... for preference in the UK, but can be worldwide. Men's jackets aren't suitable as the woman in question is short, but with wide hips. Most of the Jackets I see in that size are just fleeces or fashion coats.

What colour ladies ski jacket is in for this season 2006/2007?

Where to get a big size ski jacket? where in Australia, either online or instore, can one get a size 26 ladies outer shell type ski jacket [outer layer]? we are in Sydney, online store can be anywhere in the country, stores not selling online can be in NSW/ACT

do ski jackets HAVE to be fleece lined? i am going skiing with my school and its my first time so im not very experienced. i recently brought a pink ski jacket (http://www.trekwear.co.uk/s/dare-2b-psychedelic-ladies-ski-jacket/66452/Product.aspx) but its not fleeced lined and when i saw what it said on the internet i was quite worried because apperently its supposed to be fleece lined? i dont want to freeze to death so i want to know if the jacket i got was ok?

ski wear and stuff? :)? well basically im buying ski stuff, and im size 6/8, so should i get size up for ski stuff, because ill be wearing leggings and some tops underneath? Im ordering it online and need to do it tonight :O and for you "stylish skiers" which goes better with this http://www.sportsdirect.com/campri-ski-jacket-ladies-405017 these: black http://www.outdoorgear4u.co.uk/category/ski-wear/ladies-ski-salopettes/dare2b-headturn-ski-and-snowboard-pants-black.php or these: white http://www.skiwear2go.co.uk/category/ski-wear/ladies-ski-salopettes/dare2b-headturn-ski-and-snowboard-pants-white.php :D thanks

What's a good brand of waterproof and windproof jackets for ladies? It shouldn't be too lightweight - something like a ski jacket maybe, or thinner. Something that's of a good quality. There are brands like Northface, Helly Hansen, Regatta but I'm not sure which one's the best or if there are better ones? I'd like it to be versatile and suitable for all weather as well as outdoor sports and activities like running or hiking.

Plus size Ski/ Cold weather Jacket ? I need to find a 5 xl Ski Jacket or anything similar for cold weather, not actual skiing. There must be some larger Snowproof, Windproof, Waterproof, a Down filled Jacket etc out there for the larger ladies ? Surely not every chilly country or state has slim women ? For preference in the UK, but can be worldwide. Men's jackets aren't suitable as the woman in question is short, but with wide hips. Most of the Jackets I see in that size are just fleeces or fashion coats. To Kung Pow (chicken I presume ?) I had a feeling I'd get an idiotic response like that from a sad, pathetic, lame creature... congratulations it's you !!! To anyone else out there who wants to add stupid answers, don't bother; I'm not interested and your just showing yourselves up. Please grow-up, get a job and become a useful member of society. To those who leave helpful answers, many thanks in advance, Many thanks to both Answerers for your helpful suggestions, I'd love to give you both 10 points but am unable to. I wish you both a very Merry Christmas.

What is enough polyester insulation for a jacket to be worn walking in -10 C? Assume the jacket is high quality ski-type, waterproof and 'breathing'. It is a ladies Billabong Peace jacket. Would you consider 60g, 80g or 100g to be a minimum? What are the temperature ratings normally? Further details of this jacket: Waterproof 10000 mm Breathable 10000 gr/m2/24h

I need help finding a warm, mens - ski jacket for this winter? Hey guys, and ladies. I'm looking for a warm, waterproof jacket. But it can't be nylon. It'll get ripped and torn, plus I can't stand listening to myself walk. Like hearing snow pants. Overall feeling of that "zzippyness" isn't a turn on. Pricewise, I'd like too keep it low as possible. Atleast under 150. But if it's good quality and what I'm looking for, it's flexible. Uhm. Black is pretty boring. Along with silver. But bright red or blue is kind of faggy. I live in Vermont so I pretty much have to look online. Macy's is like 2 hours away. Hmm. It has too be something you could wear out too dinner with a ladie friend. I guess that's about it. I've looked at a countless number of sites, but looking over a couple hundred coats is making me nutty. Thankyou everyone who tries to help! Waterproof isn't a huge dal. I just hate throwing it in the dryer everytime I get home, or over the heater. Hoods are also fine either way. Thnx again

where can I get cash for ski wear no longer required? good quality ski suits, sallopettes, jackets, all mostly used just once, ladies 14/16 suits & jackets, boys/mens sallopettes and jackets. would love them to be used only want a few pounds for each item.

Can you use ladies windcheater superdry jackets for skiing in the french alps?

Ladies...need help with gift ideas for my wife for Xmas!? My wife of 21 years (she's 41) is a knock-out gorgeous gal. I've bought her everything under the sun through the years. She drives a Mercedes, has the finest of jewelry, watches, etc. Last Xmas, I went a little overboard and bought her the following: Chanel J1 Watch David Yurman necklace White ski jacket with fur collar Northern face "running around" jacket Strongwater rabbit figurine Ornate italian chandelier for our breakfast room SO...any ideas on what I should get her this year? She wants an iPad so I'm going to do that, and some Uggs boots. What would just knock her socks (errrr....clothes) off? Help me out here ladies!

Ladies: Is this a good enough Christmas list for my wife? Here is what I bought her: - One ski/casual white quilted coat with psuedo fur collar - One David Yurman silver double rope necklace with large topaz enhancer with gold accent - One Chanel J12 ceramic white watch - One Jay Strongwater hand-painted and jeweled bunny (stands about 4.5 inches tall) Am also considering one more light weigh North Face jacket for running around. Did I do OK?

My fiances bro wrote this email to 11 ppl not including me planning a ski trip. Should I be sad? My fiances bro wrote this email to 11 ppl not including me planning a ski trip. Should I be sad? "Hello ladies and gentlemen, So our ski trip for this weekend is finally coming together, but there just have a few details left to sort out. We have a house now with plenty of space which will sleep all of us with room for more, and per Rebecca's demands has a hot tub. She has conveyed a lot of excitement over the hot tub, so please give her the honorary first dip into the tub upon our arrival. The house address is at ----------------------. You can look up the directions to the house on google maps or you can refer to the house directions and instructions document written by the landlord, which I've attached. Now as far as rides go: We have 3 cars arranged for the trip - Jasons, Lillians, and Brandon's. I suggest we split up into the following groups for rides: Lillian(driver) passengers - Rebecca, Jillian, Max. One of you might need to drive for a bit since Lillian has failed her drivers test a couple of times / is afraid of night driving Jason(driver) passengers - Jack, JoJo, Greg. Jack is an excellent driver, unlike Lauren, and will be fully capable of driving throughout the entire trip. He might even be a designated driver on Friday/Saturday and shuttle the entire group to the bars, which will be about a 20 minute drive each way. Thanks Jack! Brandon (driver) passengers - Steve, Nick, temporary empty spot. Brandon's driving capabilities are unknown as of the writing of this email. As far as pickups go, I will leave to each group to arrange their own ride. Ideally everyone should get out of the city by 3:00pm on Friday so that we get to the house by 8:30-9:00, have time to settle in and go out. What to pack - Ski Clothes (use this link for some tips http://skiing.lifetips.com/cat/65809/ski… - 1) For you beginners, this really should consist of a baselayer made out of polyester material (not cotton!) that will keep you both warm and dry. you will sweat too easily if you wear a cotton long underwear. 2) Ski pants (snow pants) 3) some kind of a parka or jacket that is lightweight, warm, waterproof. 4) Hat 5) sunglasses 6) waterproof gloves For the house- 1) a handle of something that you'd like to share with the group. 2) Shower towel 3) Condoms... this should go without saying for most of you. the bunk bed room will really set the mood 4) Bed linens (?) - the house description says that the beds dont have linens, whatever that means. Maybe the house has a history of bed bug problems? who knows. feel free to bring your linens/pillows to the house. 4) Whatever else you usually bring on getaway trips, i don't know. Now as far as costs go: Currently we have 11 people. The cost of the house is $1000 for the weekend + $400 security deposit. This comes out to $127 per person unless more people join in on the fun. I will collect this amount from you this weekend unless you pay me on paypal beforehand. Assuming I get my full deposit back, $36 of the $127 will be refundable to you after the trip. Ski lift and rentals - I assume the ski lift ticket and rentals will probably run around $110/person on Saturday. I will call tomorrow to see if I can get a group discount. Gas/Booze/Food - Please factor in about $100-$150 extra for all of these costs, although its a bit unknown. We will make pancakes and eggs Saturday and Sunday morning for the whole group (I assume everyone would like this idea) Also Saturday night I think we should have a big cook out on the deck of the house - again we will do the shopping for everything in Killington and split the costs among the group for our group meals. ..... With that said, I'm sure I'm forgetting some important details. I'll keep you posted throughout the coming days if I can think of anythiing important that the group needs to know. Feel free to call/text me with any questions. Thanks Gregory" P.S. JIllian and Jack will you pls forward to Max and Zach, Paul and Kevin as I don't have their e-mail addresses. This e-mail I discovered in my fiance's inbox. His brother wrote it and never included me. As you can see there is more planned than just skiing - even the road trip alone is fun, and their excuse as to not mentioning me is that "i can't ski because of my knee". which is true i have miniscus damage, but there are other things you can do besides ski! there is only 4 hours of skiing in 3 days they are doing! My fiance and I have argued alot lately, but look at all they are doing. Skiing never consists of ONLY skiing. Would you be hurt by this e-mai you found? What would you do, how would you feel? His brother got mad at me for asking why I was not invited and that he is going to tell my fiance that I am spazzing out. He said "there you're invited now." but my feelings were hurt because they are planning all this fun stuff without me and not even my Fiance invited me. I feel so hurt inside over this. So hurt. What do you think? Here is the email above: Even when my Fiance told me about the trip (but not the details) he didn't say I should go with him. He just said "my brother invited me to a group ski trip" For all of you that disagree with me not reading my Fiance's e-mails, we both read each others. There is no room for secrets in a relationship and I fully expected the e-mail to be sent to me and when I saw in this morning it wasn't there, I checked, and had every single right to know the details that were not discussed with me as they should have been in any relationship.

Plus sized Ski Clothes? I'm just wandering do they do plus sized ski pants and jackets? I'm a lady and need a size 18, but all the places I've looked only go up to 16! Please help! Sorry I should have said. Its a UK size 18 I'm looking for. So UK shops only please!

can give me your top ten reasons you hate the niners? the best hating gets the my top rating, and ten points. if you can only come up with five thats cool too.heres my top 8 reasons to go to a niner game #8) nothing beats some chardonnay and cheese, sitting on the back of a minivan, and calling it tailgating #7) looking at the ladies purse sitting next to you and wondering if thats a chihuahua or a shitzu #6) going to the game with you brother and his boyfriend #5 knowing its ok to leave in the third quarter of a close game to watch law and order re-runs without getting bood #4)being able to wear the opponnents jersey without any fear #3)looking at the nfl's ugliest chearleaders all bundled up wearing god-awful red and gold ski-jackets #2)better make that two bottles of chardonnay, your brothers boyfriend is bringin his ex, and arizonas in town--your gettin silly wild today #1) watching them lose

can some one proofreading my two page essays? Women’s Outwear A woman asks the question “Which woman clothes can be appropriate for age and size to wear?” Some researchers’ claims that the each store will have for each different size for young adults, ladies, and the elderly for cape, jacket, and coat so the women could feel comfortable when keeping themselves warm. The Victorian cape, Metropolitan Walking cape and Evening Cape are three categories of Capes. First, Victorian Cape is sleeveless garment often tied around the neck and hang over the shoulder. The Victorian has a midriff length capelet with an upright collar. The young lady as well as an adult has many different reasons to wear a Victorian coat. For, example, the Victorian cape is warm and comfortable on cold moonlit nights and crisp winter days. Secondly, the Metropolitan Walking Capes are sleeveless garment often hang over the shoulder. Metropolitan Walking Capes can use for elderly as well as an adult who doesn’t like to wear a jacket. The cape is thick and cold. The cape made of 100% merino wool (lined) and 100% cashmere (lined). It is heavy weight. The garment can use to go to mall or to the subway. When the rain comes, the garment has a hood to cover their head. Finally, the young lady wears an Evening capes to a meeting or traveling the world. These capes may be short (over the shoulders or to the waist) or a full-length cloak . They don’t have to worry about hair. The Evening cape helps them to prevent the rain because the hood will cover their head. The Evening cape is useful for go theater or to the dinner. The three categories of cape can be use for fall and winter. They don’t have to worry about winter or fall because the cape has heavy weight. The young adult have to wear warm snow jacket also for winter and fall. . Jacket is a lightweight, thigh-or waist-length coat that may be worn by young ladies and adult. It helps them to prevent water or snow going through the body. For example, a jacket can be useful to go to Snow Mountain for skied, or walking to the snow, or ice skating. Finally, Abercrombie and Fitch Candace Women's Fur Bomber Jacket is supper soft and comfortable wearing for winter. It is 100% cotton and luxury with Faux fur lined body. The fur hoodie can be removable with two ways zippers styles Abercrombie. The coat is for a young lady. The young girl and adult wear outerwear coat to make them beautiful when they are going to Snow Mountain or ice-skating. The outerwear could be light or heavy weight but they could put two sweater on over the coat or, cape or, or jacket to keeping themselves warm.

Does it bother you when someone doesn't know the characteristics/traits of the breed they own? Does it bother you when a person owns a purebred dog, but has no idea what that dog's characteristics or traits are? I just saw something so ridiculous that it left me shaking my head in disbelief... I drove through Starbucks and there was a lady sitting out front at one of the tables with 2 Siberian Huskies. She was wearing a long down coat, gloves and a hat, but (Here's the part that bugged me), the DOGS were also wearing coats that looked like Ski Jackets! Now, mind you, it's cold here today, 28 with a windchill in the teens, but did this woman not know enough about her dogs to know that they'd be perfectly happy without the coats if it was 5 degrees and snowing outside? Do you have any examples to share?

period coming at a bad time? i'm supposed to get my period the week of the 15th this month, and i'm going to vermont with my friend that week. I've been looking forward to it for sooo long, and i'm pissed now! i know there's no way to make my period come earlier or later, but idk how i'm gonna carry around my tampons and stuff. I doubt i'll be taking bags w/ me to the actual resort where we're gonna ski, so idk where to put tampons. I guess i could keep a few in the pocket/s of my jacket/snow pants? any advice to make this vacation go smoother would be very helpful, and we are also gonna go snowmobiling the first weekend we're up there, do you think this will be uncomfortable w/ a tampon in? thanks ladies (i'm 15 so bc is not an option, i'm not really looking for ways to make it stop, just ways to help make it more discreet)

Periods coming at a bad time? i'm supposed to get my period the week of the 15th this month, and i'm going to vermont with my friend that week. I've been looking forward to it for sooo long, and i'm pissed now! i know there's no way to make my period come earlier or later, but idk how i'm gonna carry around my tampons and stuff. I doubt i'll be taking bags w/ me to the actual resort where we're gonna ski, so idk where to put tampons. I guess i could keep a few in the pocket/s of my jacket/snow pants? any advice to make this vacation go smoother would be very helpful, and we are also gonna go snomobiling the first weekend we're up there, do you think this will be uncomfortable w/ a tampon in? thanks ladies

What should i wear with this ? Im going skiing in 14 days and im wearing this ( http://www.littleblackcherry.co.uk/ladies-pink-leopard-print-scene-emo-hooded-jacket-833-p.asp ) with a top and these ( http://www.littlewoods.com/rf/p.do/women/dc/court-graffik-trainers?Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&SNtt=trainer&groupId=546253044&Nu=this_product&SNtk=littlewoods_search&Np=1&SN=151+85+4294490939&Ntt=546253044&D=546253044&Ntk=group_search&Dx=mode%2bmatchall&thisprod=546253044&N=151+85+4294490939&Nty=1&Mis_item_id=15&Mis_item_loc_id=1&product=546253044 ) but dont no what pants to wear (remember i will be on a coach for 24 hours) so i need either black jog pants or jeans ????? help please leave websites and stuff these ? http://www.jdsports.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10551&storeId=10151&productId=162127&langId=-1

Can some one look at my story? Ski Trip It is February 19th 2006. Today is the day that I am going on a field trip to a ski resort. I have never skied before in my life, It is early morning and I wake up. The sky is still dark, overhead we can see a thin line of orange kissing the dark hues of blue. The tree branches outside my window are crystallized with ice. My father, who drives a taxi, drives me to my school; Willowbrook Public School. During the ride, breathing the smell of leather in his car, my heart feels like it is attempting to push itself out of my throat. I hear a voice in my head say, Oh my god, you’re the only one who doesn’t’t know how to ski. As my father wishes me good luck and a ‘’Have fun, bachem!’’, I stretch my arm to put my backpack on. I see children outside the entrance, lights illuminate within. As I walk the cement pathway that leads to the school doors, I see people I recognize. Most of them have their own equipment, snowboards, ski shoes, carrying cases. I look at myself. I had on a pair of long johns under my jeans and my winter jacket. Nice. My stomach does a little jitterbug. I am told by my teacher, Mrs. Cappe, that since I am going to go to the beginner’s level, with the French teacher Ms. Francis, I should stick with them, and not to forget to meet under the big bell. ********************* On the Greyhound coach bus, with my backpack on top of the metal shelf, thoughts are whirling, like a hurricane approaching the calms of an island. This is going to be great, right? I still don’t know what bell Mrs. Cappe is talking about, but I hope I make it. Others were chit chattering away and gazing at the TV screens, watching a movie. My thoughts were bouncing back and forth, as I looked through the window. Snow covered hills, small evergreen trees decorating the bare whiteness were in view. I sighed. People began saying, ‘’Oh we’re here, it’s Mt. St. Louis!’ Getting off of the bus, we saw people already in their skis out-front and ready to go. We, the new arrivals, had to wait a good 30-45 minutes in line for our tags. I have to share a locker with Kristy, a student in my grade. So, I go to the front to get my boots. There are all sorts of coloured boots in the cabinets. I have my money to rent the boots with the skis. So I give them to the person on the counter who gives me my skis, after asking for my size. After putting on my boots, I needed skis. I hobble up to the counter, it felt like my legs were long pieces of wood that were about to snap if I didn’t walk like a toy soldier. The back of the shop was made of wood, and this shop was close to the doors that led to the great outdoors, the same terrain where I would acquire the skill of skiing. There were two guys behind the counter. I ask them for shoes. He just looks me up and down and goes to get skiis for me. I find this strange, how would he know my foot size? He says, ‘’Here you go.’’ , and hands them to me. Outdoors, I breathe in the crisp air outside, it hurts my nose. I wander to a girl looks friendly and ask nervously, Do you know where the Beginners Level is? She says, ‘’It’s right there‘’. She points to a group of people standing in a horizontal line. I go with my skis to join them. I feel like a lost lamb at the edge of a deep forest. The first thing we are supposed to learn is how to put on our skis. The instructor said that we should put our heel at the back so it would ‘click’ and stay put. I glanced at the others and attempted to do just that. I stuck my booted foot in the shoe. It wouldn’t fit. My cheeks turned a bright cerise. My insides felt like they were burning. I nervously get up to ask, ‘’Umm, excuse me, I can’t put them in.’’ The lady comes over and checks for me. ‘’Those skis are too small,’ she says. ‘’You’re going to have to exchange them.’’ All down the hill, (fortunately it was just a gentle curve) I had to hobble down to the rental Place. I kept on muttering to myself, ‘’What an idiot!’’ *************** Ten minutes and two shoe sizes later, I went back to see everyone learning how to stop, ‘pizza ‘’ way and turn. I tried doing that too. I took my ski poles and stabbed them into the fluffy snow. I made my way up to the top, leaving small circles behind. The instructor says, ‘’Go.’’ I try to push myself off, and I go, slowly, trying to push my weight on one side but then to save myself from a all, I cross my ski poles together and fall to the side. There’s the icy sensation of snow behind my neck. I watch the others do their turns, all of them succeeding as if the ground was their best friend. After continuing this several times, the instructor deemed me ‘okay’. After this, we go heading to the elevators to ski down the slope, a baby slope. I ask a girl in front of me what the time was, I kee EDIT---Is there anything I should cut? ---------this is a personal narrative, so yeah I find I rushed the end, a little bit...what do you think?

Good Winter outfit combination? hi im looking for an outfit to go snowmobiling/ice fishing/skiing with .. i don't want it to be really expensive so i'm using a coat that i already have. but i want it to be good quality! please don't tell me that : "it doesn't matter what you look like as long as it keeps u warm," because this will, and i like feeling confident with my outfit choices. Also, if i'm gonna buy it i might as well like it right ? Here's the coat.. but imagine the coat part in black and the fur part in like a brownish shade : http://www.google.ca/imgres?q=black+coat+fur+hood&um=1&hl=en&biw=1140&bih=523&tbm=isch&tbnid=NOhpCspzFjuAqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.discountjacketsoutlet.org/moncler-womens-gene-fur-hooded-jacket-black-p-337.html&docid=wy-GULgW4gcebM&imgurl=http://www.discountjacketsoutlet.org/images/D01200499.JPG&w=404&h=504&ei=d9AlT4wjgfDSAYn3vakL&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=755&vpy=158&dur=4311&hovh=251&hovw=201&tx=60&ty=168&sig=109518537673938151688&page=2&tbnh=154&tbnw=131&start=13&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:13 Here's the pants .. they're SPYDER :) : http://www.google.ca/imgres?q=spyder+rosa+strap&um=1&hl=en&biw=1140&bih=523&tbm=isch&tbnid=mn3qEyGdHclNOM:&imgrefurl=http://kidsportvail.com/Spyder-Tween-Rosa-Strap-Pant.html&docid=0LswtLbqwEeXoM&imgurl=http://kidsportvail.com/images/P/Spyder-Tween-Rosa-Strap--22134P.jpg&w=256&h=500&ei=n88lT5eXKefy0gG-0qSzCA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=211&vpy=96&dur=13129&hovh=314&hovw=160&tx=47&ty=159&sig=109518537673938151688&page=1&tbnh=164&tbnw=84&start=0&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0 THEY CAN ALSO COME WITHOUT THE STRAPS, jUST SEARCH "SPYDER ROSA STRAP" or "SPYDER AMELIA" in PINK Here's the scarf, imagine it with the black coat but tucked in like that: http://www.google.ca/imgres?q=white+scarf+in+coat&um=1&hl=en&biw=1140&bih=523&tbm=isch&tbnid=x1tUbRdgQJPFxM:&imgrefurl=http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-76774153/stock-photo-portrait-of-young-caucasian-lady-posing-in-brown-coat-and-white-scarf.html&docid=EUYZ626fPcla-M&itg=1&imgurl=http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/764518/764518,1304194612,7/stock-photo-portrait-of-young-caucasian-lady-posing-in-brown-coat-and-white-scarf-76774153.jpg&w=300&h=470&ei=MNElT7aYFcHg0QGMzaCzCA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=613&vpy=127&dur=238&hovh=281&hovw=179&tx=83&ty=298&sig=109518537673938151688&page=1&tbnh=153&tbnw=99&start=0&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:12,s:0 THANK YOU !

blonde jokes. if you dont like, dont read then you wont be offended. dah dah ? There was 3 ladies on an island 1 blonde 1 brunette and a red-head. The city where they wanted to be was 20 miles away with sea between the the island and the city. The red-head swam 4 miles and drowned of exhaustion, the brunette sawm 10 miles and drowned of exhaustion, the blonde swam 19 miles, got tired, and swam back!! Blonde and Genie A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead went first. 'I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!' 'Okay,' replied the genie. And off she went. Then the brunette went. 'I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!' And off she went. The blonde started crying and said, 'I wish my friends were back here!' A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of world capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of London?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: L." Two blonde girls were talking and one couldn't help but notice how pretty and beautiful the others skin was. So she asked her outright what made her skin so soft and beautiful."Well, once a week I fill the bathtub with milk and just soak in it." So the blonde went to a farm and spoke to the farmer. "I'd like a lot of milk." "How much?" asked the farmer. "Well, quite a lot because I'm going to soak in it." He asked, "Pasteurized?" "No...just up to my boobies." Blonde's VCR A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video shop and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video shop to complain. Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static." Shop assistant: "Sorry about, that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" Blonde says "It's called 'Head Cleaner." Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, ‘That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?’ Kathy takes a sniff and replies, ‘That is nice. What's it called?’ ‘Viens a moi,’ replies Nancy. ‘Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?’ At this stage the assistant offers some help. ‘Viens a moi, ladies, means 'come to me' in French.’ Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again, and remarks, ‘That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you?’ A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied. This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said "For best results, put on two coats."

Some blonde jokes!! you got any? Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. Hey asked the brunette at the wheel see any cops following us? The blonde turned around for a long look. Yea. I see some following us now! Oh NOOOO! yelled the brunette. Are his flashers on? The blonde turned around again. Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup... ------------------------------------------------- Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. ------------------------------------------- Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks? It takes too long to re-train them. ------------------------------------------ What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong." ---------------------------------------------- On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?" "That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground." After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?" --------------------------------------- A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!" ----------------------------------------------- This blonde lady goes to get a haircut. She sits down and the man says "You will have to take off your headphones." The blonde refuses to take them off and said "No! Never take them off! Just cut around them." Then she fell asleep while he cut her hair. A month later she comes back and the same thing happens. The man was very curious why she needed the headphones so bad so the next time she came she fell asleep and the man took off the headphones. The lady stopped breathing and died. The man listened to the headphones and heard a not music but a voice saying "Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out." ------------------------------------------------- Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?" This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours." The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing." "OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing." "There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!" ------------------------------------------------- This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, "Yes." He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and A Girl Who Snowboards - And what? there jokes it's meant to be fun, get your head out your bloody a*se!!! Tiger - i know far to much time ha! but i really just copy and pasted them i didn't actually sit and type them all up ... but shhh lol