Ladies Ski Pants - Some blonde jokes!! you got any?

Some blonde jokes!! you got any?

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. Hey asked the brunette at the wheel see any cops following us? The blonde turned around for a long look. Yea. I see some following us now! Oh NOOOO! yelled the brunette. Are his flashers on? The blonde turned around again. Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup... ------------------------------------------------- Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. ------------------------------------------- Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks? It takes too long to re-train them. ------------------------------------------ What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong." ---------------------------------------------- On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?" "That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground." After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?" --------------------------------------- A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!" ----------------------------------------------- This blonde lady goes to get a haircut. She sits down and the man says "You will have to take off your headphones." The blonde refuses to take them off and said "No! Never take them off! Just cut around them." Then she fell asleep while he cut her hair. A month later she comes back and the same thing happens. The man was very curious why she needed the headphones so bad so the next time she came she fell asleep and the man took off the headphones. The lady stopped breathing and died. The man listened to the headphones and heard a not music but a voice saying "Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out." ------------------------------------------------- Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?" This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours." The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing." "OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing." "There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!" ------------------------------------------------- This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, "Yes." He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and A Girl Who Snowboards - And what? there jokes it's meant to be fun, get your head out your bloody a*se!!! Tiger - i know far to much time ha! but i really just copy and pasted them i didn't actually sit and type them all up ... but shhh lol

Public Comments

and?
Ok well this is bad but here goes What do you tell a blond with 2 black eyes .,. , ., . , . . , Nothing you already told her twice
wow you got a lot of time to write all that lol
there was three blondes stranded on an island when one stumbled across a magic lamp when she picked it up a genie popped out and said i will grant each of you one wish the first blonde wishes to be smart enough to get of the island genie says your wish is granted so she build a raft and floats off the second blonde says i wish i was smarter then her to get off this island he says your wish is granted she builds a ship and sails away the third blonde wishes she was smarter the the other two put together the genie says your wish is granted so she turns into a brunette and walks off the bridge
a girl who snowboards was right you didn't finish the last joke it says and... you probably didnt have enough room in the box
A dumb blond, a smart blond, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are walking down the street when they see a $100 bill lying on the ground. They all jump for it at the same time. Who gets it? . . . . . The dumb blond. The other three are figments of your imagination. *************************** A blond is flying to LA with a coach ticket, but sits down in a first class seat. A flight attendant comes to her and says she has to move back to coach. The blond replies "no, I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to LA first class". The attendant then offers the blond the option to pay for an upgraded seat so she can stay in first class. The blond refuses, saying again "no, I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to LA first class". The attendant thinks for a moment, then leans down and whispers to the blond. She immediately grabs her bag, says thank you and moves back to coach. The pilot, who had seen the interaction, asked the flight attendant how she had managed to get the blond to move. She replied "I simply told her first class wasn't flying to LA"
Okay this is kinda funny This blond goes to the pawn shop and says "I would like to buy this TV." The cashier says "sorry no blonds aloud." so the next day she comes again , but this time she put a red wig on. She says "I would like to buy this TV." Then the cashier says "sorry no blonds aloud." The next day she comes with a black wig and says I would like to buy this TV." And again the cashier says "sorry no blonds aloud." The blonde says " how did you know i'm blonde the whole time?" The cashier says " mam...thats not a TV, thats a toaster."
1. A Blonde woman walks into an Electrical store. She walks over to the Cashier. And says to him, "I would like to buy that Television please." and he replies "No, I'm sorry. We don't serve blond es." She just walks out of the store. She gets her Hair dyed and make-up completely done differently. She walks back into the store and asks the same thing to the same guy. He replies that he still does not serve blond es, even though she now had Black hair. She walks away again, and gets a GREAT Face-Lift, she now looks over 10 Years Younger. She goes back to the store and asks the same thing to the same guy AGAIN. And he again replies No ma'am, Sorry, we do Not serve blond es. She then gets annoyed and says, "Ok, What is your problem, I am a whole new person, how could you tell I was a Natural Blonde!" And he laughs and replies to her, "Because Ma'am, You are pointing to a MicroWave" 2. Which would hit the floor first if a Blonde and a Brunette walked off a Cliff ? The Brunette, because the Blonde would have to stop for Directions. 3. Blondes have way more fun, but Brunettes can remember it the Next day.
The MACY'S one was awesome>
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were in a boat incident. They were the only survivors and were left in a small dinghy, with nothing but the clothes they wore that day. Several days passed and still no help. They then see a vague island in the distance and decide to swim to it, it was approximately 100m away. The redhead goes first and swims 15m before getting attacked and eaten by sharks, but they soon move on. The brunette decides to swim next, and manages to swim 25m but the sea turns and becomes rough and she drowns. The blonde finally plucks up the courage to swim. She manages to swim 50m, but gets too tired so swims back to the dinghy .. :P
What do you call an intelligent blonde ? A Labrador.
Q) What's the similartie between the tooth-fairy, santa claus and a smart blonde? A) Their all made up! I.M.P