Ladies Ski Pants

My girlfriend purposely tries to look ugly...?

Here's the deal: I have a really hot girlfriend. Like, a 10 when she tries. However, she scratches her face and chest, so she can't wear low cut tops and her face looks like she has severe acne when she's not wearing makeup, which she usually never does. She pulls her hair back into this bun and wears a black ski cap over it. She also wears GIANT baggy clothing (a mens hoody and ill fitting jogging pants). It's like she wants to look as bad as she can, and she has said that she knows she looks ugly when she is like this. She dresses up for me when we go out to nice places, but when she's going to class or something she's in the sweats with the hat, and she looks like a teenage boy. Why does she do this?

Public Comments

1. She doesnt care what she looks like good for her
2. Maybe Its Something That Is Bothering Her Which Is Causing Her To Behave This Way. Sit Down And Have A Nice Talk With Her, And Ask Her Why She Is Doing That.
3. Maybe she's trying to get you to like her for her PERSONALITY. Do you know what that is?
4. why would you want your girlfriend looking hot for other people anyway?
5. When does she scratch herself on the face and chest? could it be that she is ashamed of looking hot? Maybe something has happened to your girlfriend and she doesn't want to attract any attention. I would say talk to her. Ask her what is going on. but try to be concerned and polite.
6. Here's the deal: It's hard being a hot chick. I mean, I'm glad you like it when your girlfriend looks like a 10. But when she does, people STARE at her. EVERYONE STARES AT HER. Women stare at her. Women are so MEAN to each other. Chances are, every time your girlfriend goes out dressed up nicely, another woman is checking her out and "measuring her worth". Insecure girls might even try to make her feel bad by pointing, whispering, rolling their eyes, or giving her looks that basically say, "Who do you think you are?" Either way, women can be vicious, and there's nothing that makes them more vicious than an attractive woman. I hate to say this about my own gender, but there you go. Men stare at her. I'm sure you like this part, because it means they want her, but you have her. In fact, I bet this is why you like it when she gets dressed up. You get to show her off. And hey, I am not saying this is a bad thing. I dress my boyfriend up for the same reason. I'm not judging you. I AM saying that you might get more out of men staring at her than she does. Thing is, if she's a 10, that means she's a little thing, right? Slender in all the right ways? Chances are, she isn't trained in martial arts, so if a big guy decided to grab her and have his way with her, she's screwed. That's what attractive women have to think about when they're not with their boyfriends... Am I safe? While some of us thrive on being lusted after by men or envied by women, it makes most of us acutely uncomfortable. Because people are staring, we have to constantly wonder if we look okay. We are compelled to look "perfect". That involves shaving or waxing our bodies (OUCH), trying on clothes for hours to find the right thing, spending hundreds of dollars on getting our hair and nails done. It's HARD to look good. Can you imagine spending hours each morning getting ready? Because even though your girlfriend is beautiful, chances are, that's how long it takes to create a "10" appearance. HOURS. Of hair styling, make-up applying, eyebrow plucking, nipple-adjusting, mirror-staring. Also, g-strings are just uncomfortable. I didn't mean to go all feminist on you. You asked a serious question, so I'm giving you a serious answer. It could be any (or all) of the above. Unfortunately, when you add the scratching part, it sounds like something even worse than the above: now you're getting into the realm of emotional problems. People don't normally scratch themselves to make themselves uglier-- that's not "normal". She's got issues deeper than the average girl. It's possible that she was abused (in particular, by family) or raped. Pretty girls who experience this usually blame themselves in some way, which sucks. Either way, she's got incredibly low self-esteem, and she wants help. Read this, because it is important: SHE WANTS HELP. She might not know WHAT is wrong inside of her head, but she knows SOMETHING is wrong. Damaging one's own body is ALWAYS a "cry for help." Just being honest here, you could make the situation worse if you keep pushing for her to dress up. Thing is, the way she dresses isn't the problem, it is a SYMPTOM of the problem. And there IS a problem. Here's my final advice: get your girlfriend some therapy. Tell her that you love her (if you do), that you're there for her to talk to, but you get the feeling that she might feel better if she had someone outside of the relationship to talk to. Apologize for your previous attempts to get her to dress up, and tell her you weren't really thinking about how she feels about it - this will help her trust your motivation for suggesting therapy. You could mention that the scratching worries you, not because of how it looks, but because she's causing pain to someone you love: herself. If all of the above sounds like sappy BS, that's because it is. But sometimes in life, you have to whip out the sappy BS to ultimately get what you want, and what you want is a mentally healthy girlfriend who doesn't scratch herself or hide behind ugly clothes. Your girlfriend needs therapy, okay? I'm not being mean. *I* am in therapy. You will not believe the difference in your girlfriend after just a short while in therapy. Try to help her make this happen. You never know. She might come home from therapy one day, go to her closet, and throw away all of her baggy clothes. Stranger things have happened.